The Worst Star Wars Cast Ever Game!

   
Here is an example cast from the editors of turtleneck.net and their friends. This list was basically composed by comittee over email during the course of a three-day marathon email session, and represents a mixed bag of episodes. See if you can make a worse Star Wars Cast!
 
  • Luke Skywalker: Mark Hamill or Crispin Glover
  • Han Solo: Kevin Spacey (doing his Christopher Walken impression, of course)
  • Princess Leia Organa: Rowan Atkinson in drag
  • Ben (Obi-Wan) Kenobi: Kenny Rogers
  • Lando Calrissian: Mike Tyson
  • C-3P0: James Lipton (Host of "Inside the Actors Studio)
  • R2-D2: The Olsen Twins
  • Chewbacca: The Taco Bell Dog
  • Yoda: Fozzy Bear
  • Darth Vader: Anthony Micheal Hall circa Sixteen Candles
  • Grand Moff Tarkin: Christopher Walken doing his John Malkovich impersonation
  • Admiral Motti: John Malkovich (take a few moments to imagine this, hear it)
  • Emperor Palpatine: Paul Reubens doing Pee-Wee Herman
  • Boba Fett: Kelsey Grammer
  • Uncle Owen: Christopher Walken
  • Aunt Beru: The Old Lady from Titanic, with Robert Plant as her burnt, smoking corpse. We feel that this could be a real breakout role for ol' Bob
  • Mon Mothma: Courtney Love
  • General Nadine: Carl Sagan (as he is now, dead and rotting)
  • Admiral Akbar: John Travolta
  • Wedge Antilles: Gary Busey
  • Jek Porkins: John Candy's Corpse
  • Biggs Darkliter: Keanu Reeves
  • Captain Piett: Slappy White
  • Admiral Ozzel: Barry White
  • General Veers: Rip Taylor
  • Jabba the Hutt: Calista Flockhart
  • Bib Fortuna: Ted Danson
  • Salacious Crumb: Delroy Lindo
  • Max Rebo: Paul Schaffer
  • Slave Dancer Oola: Martha Stewart
  • Gammorean Guard 1: Willy Nelson
  • Gammorean Guard 2: Wayne Newton
  • X-Wing Pilot—"Two fighters against a star destroyer?": Patick Stewart
  • Cantina Bartender: Gerard Depardieu
  • Stormtroopers: Jack Lemmon, copied with CGI as needed
  • Poetic Stormtrooper: Seamus Heaney
  • R2 Unit with Bad Motivator: Brian Boitano, with pause for a figure skating routine
  • Wampa Snow Creature: Chris Rock

 
   

And the kicker, from an email between Messer and Wikle:

Messer: Rowan Atkinson in his breakout role as the AT-AT commander. "We're approaching the generator now, you may start your landing." then he takes his underwear off without removing his pants.
Wikle: Now you've gone too far.

And: "We could use my holy triumverate of Max Von Sydow, Robert Duvall and Donald Sutherland as the Emperor, Vader, and Anakin in some combination, or even have them switch off from scene to scene. With Arnold Schwarzeneger doing the voice over for Vader. or even better the guy who does Von Wolfcastle on the Simpsons."

The possibilities are endless. Have fun!

 

 
   
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